I suck at farewells. They aren’t too painful or sad or emotional. I just never feel like I’ve expressed how much a person can mean to me in that short moment that is the last or the last for a while to come.
That’s how I think it is supposed to be. The tearful, meaningful farewells of Hollywood raise the ideal for me. I know that many people say goodbye like this and I have seen genuine, heartfelt goodbyes in the last week. They are personal, deep, and touch the souls of the parting friends.
For me, the meaning of the goodbye is in the friendship leading to it. If I haven’t shown what a person means to me before we said goodbye, then the goodbye itself won’t make up for that. Depth and meaning cannot be created in the parting of a shallow friendship.
On the other side of the coin is the eternal picture of things. All goodbyes are temporary since I wholeheartedly believe a day will come when everyone I have known, those who have known me, and the countless strangers will be in one place for one purpose. Every glance exchanged, thought shared, kindness given and received will have lead to that one day and purpose and have it’s full context and meaning shown in perfect and awe inspiring clarity. The bond between each person will be fully known by its Source and have no end.
The result for the present, though, is a half-assed farewell that feels lame and inadequate to the burden of my heart.
I write this on Monday having just shared a beer with people I respect, admire, care for, and love in my own strange way. My world is unquestionably better for having known them. My world will improve as I continue to know them in a different light and fashion. I hope that I can return the favor in even the smallest of ways. And we will meet again, if not in this life, than in the life to come.
I am sure we will meet in both.
But I am still sad that the light and fashion must change, however exciting a change it may be. The world itself has changed and our abilities to keep in touch with people we hold dear is dramatically different from how it was even a month ago.
But still I mourn the loss of two of the bright lights near to my daily life to help set the compass of my life against and help me remember that the road I am on is not empty but full of joy and beauty and laughter and peace and love.