I don’t get asked very often if everything is OK or if there is something I need to talk about. I mean the concerned, worried perspective that people sometimes get when they see odd things in their friends or family. I take it as a good thing that I don’t hear this often.
I heard it twice today from two different people.
I think I’m OK and doing just fine, but make a point of stopping to take stock when something like this happens, just to be sure. It wouldn’t be the first time I wasn’t doing well on some level without knowing.
I’ve been thinking lately about what brings fulfillment to my life. I can either claim neutrality or say I’m proud of just about everything I do, but whether I feel fulfilled as a person from it is a different story. Viewing my activities at church as service has been good, though difficult (who exactly am I serving? is that who I should be serving?). But I don’t find fulfillment there. Music is fun and I love singing in the various groups I’m part of, but I don’t find fulfillment. I love my job, but don’t find fulfillment in the things I do (though fulfillment at work would be icing on the cake rather than expected).
What am I doing that is fulfilling? Anything? Nothing? Am I doing things that are fulfilling but not receiving it? If I were, would people have asked if I was OK today (the root reason for even thinking about this, after all)?
Things for me to think about.