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I don’t get asked very often if everything is OK or if there is something I need to talk about.  I mean the concerned, worried perspective that people sometimes get when they see odd things in their friends or family.  I take it as a good thing that I don’t hear this often.

I heard it twice today from two different people.

I think I’m OK and doing just fine, but make a point of stopping to take stock when something like this happens, just to be sure.  It wouldn’t be the first time I wasn’t doing well on some level without knowing.

I’ve been thinking lately about what brings fulfillment to my life.  I can either claim neutrality or say I’m proud of just about everything I do, but whether I feel fulfilled as a person from it is a different story.  Viewing my activities at church as service has been good, though difficult (who exactly am I serving?  is that who I should be serving?).  But I don’t find fulfillment there.  Music is fun and I love singing in the various groups I’m part of, but I don’t find fulfillment.  I love my job, but don’t find fulfillment in the things I do (though fulfillment at work would be icing on the cake rather than expected).

What am I doing that is fulfilling? Anything? Nothing? Am I doing things that are fulfilling but not receiving it? If I were, would people have asked if I was OK today (the root reason for even thinking about this, after all)?

Things for me to think about.

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