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I’m going to a Halloween party this weekend.  I know that I’ll enjoy seeing my friends and have a generally good time.

It takes work to have fun at a party like this.  Doing the costume thing is not something I see as a good time.  It’s not a bad time, just a neutral experience that doesn’t affect much of life.

I don’t do well with being someone else, for even a short time and even casually with just donning a costume.  I’ve spent a good deal of my life trying to be a person I thought people would like rather than just being me.  To return to that is like picking up an old habit that you now find distasteful (anyone who has quit smoking and now can’t stand the idea of it may relate).  Even if the returning is a small, harmless activity like a Halloween costume.

I’ll don my costume for the party tomorrow and I’ll have a good time.  How well or comfortable I’ll be as another person remains to be seen.