This was quite a busy weekend for me, in so many different ways. For one, there just a lot to do, just about all of it very fun. The concert last night was a big hit (you know you’ve done something amazing when the conductor is barely controlling himself at the end of the night). I saw The Mikado with friends Saturday night at Colton High School (well, done, CHS!), celebrated the dedication of a new baby, watched a movie, and so much else. I kind of like full weekends when they aren’t fully of work-ish stuff. It feels more like I had a weekend when I get back to Monday.
Some old issues popped up, though. I have a lot to think about and virtually no time to think about it in. Now that I’m done with choir for the time being, that should open up some hours in the week and some space mentally. I hope it is enough.
The meditation from Nouwen today has a good thought. He speaks of the pain of missing God in knowing the place He should be, but it mostly absent, or seemingly so. For the last few weeks, I’ve been doing a better-than-usual job of seeking for God’s presence in the midst of my life and relationships and what work is being done in that forest of lives I find myself if. Sometime this weekend or just before it (last Wednesday seems a good candidate for a day to mark), I started to lose sight of that. Today, when I try to look for it again, I see only empty spaces where God would fit not long ago. There is sadness in the missing, but also an excitement in knowing that He has changed shape to fit somewhere else and the adventure that will take place to find Him again. The pain and ache comes from having to move from the good that I know to the good I must trust is now elsewhere. And trust has never been one of my strong suits.