Today’s sermon was about anger and being reconciled to those who are angry with you or you are angry at. This is about anger in the sense of the grudge or resentment. In other words, not a fleeting anger.
My questions after the fact, that I intend to ask of those wiser than I, relate to circumstances. I have found myself in the last year in the position of wanting to reconcile a friendship with more than one person. However, in each instance, there are special circumstances that make doing so more difficult than would be consider usual. In one instance, the other does not feel there is a problem in the first place. In another, just getting the opportunity to talk is difficult. In another, the perception that I am mentally unstable, while not entirely out of the question, blocks most any attempt at a rational discussion.
So it begs the question. How do you reconcile when you are the only part of the pair that has a grievance or when the other steadfastly refuses to recognize your point of view as having any truth in it (never minding getting past being told you are wrong every time you try to bring it up)? How do you reconcile with someone who is never available to do so or, when they are, avoids the topic at every turn. How do you reconcile with some one when there is a strong and damaging label, perceived or actual, between you and the other?
An obvious point would be to let go of the anger, but Jesus’ words push is further to actually go to the person and make things right again. It seems that it isn’t enough to be at peace or have mercy. You have to extend it to those who you have hurt or hurt you. But how do you do that when the people you seek to extend that to take the above stances?
I am so perplexed by this conundrum that I was reduced to tears during the sermon today. That, to my memory, has never happened before. And it is not often the case that I find myself shedding tears of sadness at all.