Last week, I wrote about intentionality. Today, I hit a very, very hard part of doing that.
I have a hard time asking to go along with my friends when I haven’t been invited in the first place. It’s usually easier to feel unwanted than to tag along, though tagging along is generally a lot more positive. I don’t know why I think this way, but I tend towards seeing the phrase, “Can I come?” as begging, pitiful, and undignified when it comes from my mouth (and it hardly ever does).
The problem is that there come times when trying to be a part of the lives of others when you have to do just that. I hit that wall this morning during my shower (where all profound thoughts occur). However, having swallowed my pride as much as I can, I find myself in no way undignified, though I do feel a small bit pitiful and sad. On the whole, it feels good to tell a friend that I want to be somewhere with them. And I don’t see how it can hurt that friendship to know that I enjoy their company.