Continuing off the forgiveness bit here.
This is really affecting me today. So many thoughts that have been coming up off and on for weeks now and bringing pain or sorrow or lonliness are still coming up, but now in light of not having let go of something that happened over a decade ago.
I’m comforted by the story of the bleeding woman in Mark who was healed after twelve years of injury. What I wonder about in that story is the what happened next. Did she just go back to her life, now free of that pain and suffering, and have a wonderful life from then on? Was that the first step in a healing that we only got to see the first step of?
I guess it boils down to relearning an entire way of thinking about the world around me after having done it another way for so long.
One of the things that has been helpful is to allow a brilliant future to reshape a story. Jesus is changing me, quickly or slowly, into the man he created me to be. And that future and certainty is something to look forward to and to allow that to be my definition, or at least a significant part of it.
There is a step further, though. That’s allowing that future and certainty to redefine the events of my past in light of who I was made to be (whatever that may be). I have a story to tell, but it is meant to be told in light of redemption and glory.
Getting out of telling my story in light of pain, suffering, and abandonment is the hard part.