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I’m alone this evening. My best friend and housemate is out with his girlfriend, likely for the remainder of the evening. My other housemate and friend is doing a church thing and then likely going out with her boyfriend. I, having no such relationship and being one of the few even in my extended circle with that situation, am finding myself with little to do, or no one to do anything with at the very least.

This is a teaser for me. In a few short months, I will be in my own place. I don’t know when exactly, but it’s going to happen. And this is what life will resemble on a daily basis. At the end of the day, everyone will have left the space around me, in most cases to go home to their spouses or off with their SOs. What’s important for me to remember is that they aren’t leaving me, personally. There are simply always other people to spend time with and it’s hard to compete. Particularly when sex or some other form of intimacy is involved, even if not at that time. You just can’t really beat that. Not in our society.

So I will check the TV schedule and see if there is anything good on to distract my brain from the things I think too hard about. I will go shopping for my week of food goodness. I may rent a movie should nothing be on TV. I will turn into one of the people that I remember TV itself making fun of. A person who is used to being alone on weekend nights and being content with a movie and a TV. If that happens, I may become a person who looks forward to TV on those nights and doesn’t want to get out of the house in the first place.

What a frightening thought. I think I have enough in me to keep that from happening. I think I still have good enough friends that they wouldn’t help me fight against that.

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