I’m doing much better today. I’m walking a line between being the victim of this thing that has happened over the weekend and being the one who takes all of the blame for everything that goes wrong. I guess those are one and the same in some ways.
Obviously, neither of those are good. I am not a victim. I may be hurt by something, but I am not a victim. I think there is a difference. Neither is it my fault that this thing happened or that I am hurt by it (though some may debate that last). Somewhere between those two existances is a path that I’m trying to find. For now, I’m bouncing back and forth between the two sides trying not to cling to either of them in hopes of finding a way out, but desiring so much to simply stay put that I’m grabbing onto whichever of the two is more stable at the moment.
But today is better. Tomorrow will be as well.