So today is more of a day where I’m wondering when it will be my turn to get things right.
I’ve had one relationship beyond friendship that worked, and I messed it up pretty well in a faulty pursuit of spirituality. After that, the women who I have been attracted to generally fell into one of three categories: 1) psycho, 2) incredibly insecue, or 3) freaked out that people (or I) thought we were dating.
I’m undoubtedly projecting now, but that’s the day it is. A good friend of mine, in all the years I’ve known him, becomes attracted to a woman and guranteed, that woman will be attracted once to him at some point, usually after he’s attracted and should the timing be right, while he’s still attracted.
So what’s the fucking difference? I really don’t know.
I’m tired of being told I’m a great guy. I don’t doubt I have great qualities, but I’m obviously missing something or else the people who keep telling me I’m a great guy would follow through on it.
The worst part is that I did a good job of alienating two friends today. They probably both need to be moved away from my social center a few steps and for good reasons on both sides of the friendship, but what I did has no excuse and is childish at best. I’ve apologized to one, the other will get it as soon as I can tonight.
So there you have it. At least today. There’s hope for a brighter day tomorrow. Great things did happen today, I at least am not so far gone as to have forgotten about them.