Well, I have a new topic to discuss in my therapy. We’ve talked about separating myself from my ideas and the ideas of others, making a distinction between my feelings about a particular event and how I distort the truth of that event, creating a positive emotion in my heart as a means of both being more positive (duh!) and taking the edge off of the not so pleasant emotions (anger, sadness, etc.). Now we’ll be talking about the biggest of them all and something I expect to be likely related to them all in some fashion.
I have a problem with one of my friends who has been very close to me over the years. Waht it comes down to (and he is aware of this) is that I have a tendency to compare myself to him, usually in an entirely negative light. Further, I feel compared to him by others, and sometimes that’s even true, and that he “wins out” in just about every arena we could co-exist in. The most notable arena, naturally, is the arena of the female.
So I have a lot to talk about that I won’t discuss in detail here, but part of me is somehow distractedly interested in seeing where this goes. The rest of me is just in the usual roller-coaster of turmoil to peace that I usually feel when I’ve hit the nerve of an issue that I don’t know how to deal with.