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The previous posts may require some explanation.

I am depressed, there’s no doubt about that, I think. However, it comes and it goes. I have weeks where nothing is wrong, but I know that I am not fine. Then, something happens that starts a time where I am very much not okay and things are wrong. Something happened yesterday, or possibly started to happen before that, which started something that lead me to where I was yesterday when that happened. I’m still there and, frankly, I want to stay there until I see the psychologist on Thursday.

I want to know what this feels like when we talk and do whatever we’ll do. I don’t want to spend time trying to conjure this up. If things are more dramatic for me during that session, all the better. There is something in me that needs to be taken care of and I don’t really care if it hurts, as long as it is gone at some point.

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