This week, I started eye-movement therapy. We’re focusing on an event that happened my freshman year of high school that was quite painful for me at the time. It’s been ten years or so, and I’m not feeling the same emotional weight directly anymore. I wonder if I’m feeling any weight of it at all. So much has happened in the way of change in the last few weeks that I wonder if I haven’t gotten past it somehow without knowing it.
But I don’t accept that very easily. I was fairly traumatized from that event for a while and it played out in certain events and relationships during college. If I am past it, we’ll know soon enough. More likely, I think, I’ve stuck this down so far that it will take some work to get it to the point where it’s even remotely removable.
So we’re doing eye-movement therapy. The idea being that if you move your eyes rapidly as you do during a dream, the images or emotions will come up related the event you are concentrating on much like they would in a dream. Only you aren’t asleep. At least, that’s my understanding. It’s pretty insightful, I think.
Nothing came of it this last week, really, except for a couple of images that surprised me. We’ll see where things go with this.
In every other area with therapy, things are good. I’m feeling better about life, much more secure in myself, and my angry periods are times I can deal with instead of ride out. Very much worth the small copay I’ve paid for each visit.