I am frustrated with myself tonight. I’m likely having some kind of mood swing over the course of many weeks. What’s frustrating isn’t the fact that there are things not turning out the way I had hoped. The fact is that it will probably turn around within the next two weeks anyway and everything will be fine. What’s frustrating is that this will probably continue to happen, regularly or otherwise, until I do something to stop it. I know that my own issues from life are causing this, no one else is at fault. But I have no power over them. Period.
That’s somehow sad, but at the same time comforting. It may be my fault, but it isn’t my fault that I can’t get out of it. The 12-step programs have their members acknowledge a higher power as the only thing that can truly break their addictions or do that which they find they cannot do themselves. I’m going to possibly further that (given a lack of full understanding of the 12-step programs) and say that it isn’t just that there is a higher power that can break whatever is holding us down, but it is in fact that power’s responsibility to do that and we have every reason to hold it to that responsibility.