Arrogrance or Blessing

Last night I took part in a group Lectio Divina activity. I’ve done lectio before on my own and in a group, but it’s been a while. The group last night was perfectly suited to each other; very open and responsive to the ebb and flow of the mood and atmosphere of the room.

I shared about feeling like a spectactor watching epic events happening around me, mostly in the form of life-changing events in my friends lives. I pictured myself walking down a corridor. As I walked, I passed scenes that had little affect on me; my life insulated from the pains and the joys happening around me nearly to the point of not caring aside from the guilt of being so insulated from my friends and people I care about.

As the sharing and silent reflection continued, the scene began to change. Instead of being insulated and helpless to interact with the epics around me I saw myself as a spectator of another drama altogether. The joys and pains were not what I was meant to be seeing. Rather, in these events I was given a special seat to see the good happening in and around and because of these events, something that would be hidden to me if I were in the whirldwind.

Something I learned what seems like a long time ago is that perspective is everything when it comes to dealing with stressful situations. 99% of the time, the outcome of a given situation doesn’t really change the bottom line of our lives, though it may change temporarily. Spending less energy worrying about how things will change overall and putting more into the situation at hand works wonders.

I walked away last night seeing the insulation as a gift of having a perspective outside that of the epics I saw/see around me. From this point, I can calmly and peacefully search for God’s finger writing His signature onto the world and offer a better helping hand to those within the whirlwind.

Is it arrogance to ask for prayer in help with the problems of people aroud you when it seems like you have none of your own? Or is it a blessing to be in such a position? I certainly have my own problems, but those are minute and quiet for the time being. That said, I’m not sure which case is more true.

The Non-Lonely Dinner or A Well Timed Phone Call

I was just thinking that I was too busy today to really chat with anyone for more than a moment or two. Within a minute or two, I get a phone call from some friends asking if I’d like to have dinner with them tonight.

How freaking great is that?!?! I didn’t even have to call around, the good people came to me. Maybe I really do have telepathic powers of persuasion…

…Nah. If that were true, my station in life would probably be very different.
Technorati Tags: friends, dinner, serendipity

Thanks, No

Get emails from folks that you like, but wish you didn’t get that particular kind of email? How do you let them know without harshing the friendship?

Thanks. No. is a great little page with some nice text to use in reply.

Why be assertive when someone else has done it for you? No, wait a minute, something’s not right about that…

Technorati Tags: thanks no, email, forwards

End of an Era

Tonight was the last episode of The West Wing. We had a little party in my apartment complete with a handful of quotes and pictures from past seasons up on the walls of my place (two in the bathroom for a chuckle). The episode was good and the series ended very well, I think. Not the fast-paced episode that would have come from an early season, but a moderately paced story that said farewell in a calm, quiet fashion.

But I will miss this show for other reasons as well. Since as long as I can remember, The West Wing has been a time for me to gather with good friends that I wouldn’t normally see outside of church or work. While time with these friends can still be had in spades and with little excuse or reason for the gathering, there is something bittersweet about this particular avenue being closed. Bitter because it is over, but sweet because it isn’t.

What’s next? My Sunday nights are no longer scheduled. I plan to not do anything too structured for the next one or two, but already have an idea or two for something to not just fill the time or get the “old gang” back together. Trying to repeat the past or hold on to something that has gone by the way just isn’t healthy, as much as I still find myself doing that from time to time. But finding another way, a deeper way with more fun and richness is definitely worth the effort. It may not be the same crowd and it probably won’t be over a TV show, but it will be good.

It’s a testament, I think, to The West Wing that it was the only show that I watched almost exclusively with other people. More so, it’s a testament to my friends that we faithfully gathered in such a fashion for each new episode (and even repeats when they were still running repeats during the season). I will miss the stories and the fun, but look forward to the newer things yet to come.

You did a wonderful job guys. Thanks for seven seasons of challenging thoughts, witty remarks, and characters we loved to watch.

Technorati Tags: the west wing, television

The Unfinished Talk

I gave the talk last night at Informal Worship. I thought it went very well. I had a good time talking about part of my life in front of a group of my friends and feel like I got a point across.

The problem is that while I knew the points I wanted to make before the talk started (I actually set them down over a month ago), as soon I started, almost everything went straight out the window. I wasn’t nervous, rather quite excited. So it wasn’t nerves that changed my talk and thus whatever point I had intended to make.

At a couple of points I tried very hard to get back to the points I had wanted to make. Each time I did that, it was like trying to talk through a mouthful of molasses. So I went back to feeling like I had no point and things flowed much easier. In the end, the same story was told and the greater point of a way that Jesus works in our lives was made.

As I drove home, all of these points that seemed necessary to make kept coming up in my mind; the things that now seem very important to have said that were left unsaid without knowing that I missed them entirely. It made me want to post the practice recording I made over a month ago as that had more of the points I wanted to make.

But I won’t. Part of my continued healing and growth is to trust people more and more, particularly my friends. My desire to “set the record straight” about the points I missed last night is an echo of the feeling that if the whole, complete story with every point outlined nicely and placed in the perfect context is another way of making sure people think well of me. The problem with that is people already think well of me.

Technorati Tags: healing, church, worship, talk, story

MySpace

At the suggestiong of a friend, I joined MySpace. I’ve heard about this for quite a while now as the big thing going on for networking and meeting up with friends old and new. It’s quite amazing that, for free, I can mark the schools I’ve attended and see other folks from those schools. I’ve seen pages for a good number of classmates from high school already and have gotten back in touch with three friends from college. And that’s just in two days.

I can see where the addiction comes in as there is a subtle poke for competition at having the most friends or comments or whatever. But really, it’s about talking to people and if that’s an addiction, then I’ll take more of it here, please.

Technorati Tags: myspace, friends, networking, web 2.0

A Little “Woo-Hoo” in the Church

Life as a Mission has a good post up today with a great title. The comic is quite pleasant as well.

As I read this, I thought to myself that it seems on this end of the social spectrum that there is sometimes a disconnect between what women say they want in a man and what actually attracts them to a man. But I immediately turned around to think of the women I know in my life, particularly those at church, and was glad to see no such disconnect there. I love being able to say with integrity that the women I know are following what they want based on their beliefs (and happen to find men who would fit the ideal somewhat well on the way, in fact).

I would only add this: the door swings both ways. While men should strive to be leaders as servants, we too have our own manners of attraction towards women that could use a bit of tweaking. The same prayer suggested for the women should be prayed by the men, no question.

Technorati Tags: church, marriage, relationships

What a Weekend

This was quite a busy weekend for me, in so many different ways. For one, there just a lot to do, just about all of it very fun. The concert last night was a big hit (you know you’ve done something amazing when the conductor is barely controlling himself at the end of the night). I saw The Mikado with friends Saturday night at Colton High School (well, done, CHS!), celebrated the dedication of a new baby, watched a movie, and so much else. I kind of like full weekends when they aren’t fully of work-ish stuff. It feels more like I had a weekend when I get back to Monday.

Some old issues popped up, though. I have a lot to think about and virtually no time to think about it in. Now that I’m done with choir for the time being, that should open up some hours in the week and some space mentally. I hope it is enough.

The meditation from Nouwen today has a good thought. He speaks of the pain of missing God in knowing the place He should be, but it mostly absent, or seemingly so. For the last few weeks, I’ve been doing a better-than-usual job of seeking for God’s presence in the midst of my life and relationships and what work is being done in that forest of lives I find myself if. Sometime this weekend or just before it (last Wednesday seems a good candidate for a day to mark), I started to lose sight of that. Today, when I try to look for it again, I see only empty spaces where God would fit not long ago. There is sadness in the missing, but also an excitement in knowing that He has changed shape to fit somewhere else and the adventure that will take place to find Him again. The pain and ache comes from having to move from the good that I know to the good I must trust is now elsewhere. And trust has never been one of my strong suits.

Technorati Tags: weekend, nouwen, God, friendships, trust

Hebrew Love Song 5x

The third song in this Sunday’s concert is my favorite of the pack and so I’ve saved it for last to talk about. Five Hebrew Love Songs composed by Eric Whitacre, songs by Hila Plitmann.

First off, the melodies and harmonies in this piece are both pleasant and haunting at the same time. A small string orchestra accompanies the choir. While the piece is modern, it isn’t so modern as to be completely insane. This piece tells a story from movement to movement, bookended by a simple melody that eloquently captures the emotions of the lovers who wrote it.

And that brings me to the other reason I love this piece. The story behind it is beautiful. Eric and Hila are married. This song was born while they were dating. Each movement/song is a snapshot of their relationship. The words of the fourth song speak of snow falling and the choir becomes both the snow and the tones of the bells that woke this couple during a stay in Germany. The third song is incredibly romantic and a snapshot of the kind of love I think we all strive for on some level. The fifth song is yet another look at this love, but more so, I think, a rich and deep expression of healing and care and compassion.

The words of the second song are

Light bride
She is all mine,
And lightly
She will kiss me!

and the music that brings the Hebrew to life begs to be danced to. I remarked with another choir member during a rehearsal once that you can’t help but want to take a woman in your arms and dance around the room with her while singing this song.

I won’t reprint the entire translation here, but hope they are included in the program (if they aren’t, I have them in my music). They are very much worth reading before the song is sung, as with Magnificat. And while you won’t be able to follow along with the choir by the translation alone, let the texture of the poem for each song sink into you while the music plays over your senses. I think then you’ll know why I speak of this music with such joy.

Technorati Tags: redlands, concert, music, eric whitacre, hila plitmann, hebrew, love songs

Listening to Music = A Happier Robert

You know, it’s pretty amazing what difference a few songs can make in your mood. I wasn’t depressed today, but I was definitely low energy. Turn on my iPod and listen to some Caedman’s Call and suddenly the entire world is different.

I spent a lot of my day wondering why I was stuck in neutral. It never occurred to me that I have great days during the week when I walk to and from work listening to great music on my iPod. Bookending my work day with a highly positive note must count for something, so why not my weekend as well?

Even twenty minutes of music I really enjoy has turned my mood around and gotten me to look forward to the rest of my weekend with my friends even more than I was already. Food for thought, me thinks.

Technorati Tags: music, mood, friends, hope