Anti-Socially Social

Not really, just playing around.  I’m back to my usual self today, or mostly.

What was interesting about yesterday was how many people equated anti-social with grumpy.  Enough people that I actually became grumpy from so many people asking why I was grumpy when I was just not feeling up for lots of people and conversation (at the start, at least).

It led me to think about how many times someone mentions that they aren’t doing well.  Instead of listening to how they describe their feelings, most of us tend to attach our own ideas of how we feel about how they are doing and treat them accordingly.  If someone is down, this is more likely to distance them than help.  If nothing else, we are showing them that we aren’t really listening to what they have to say.

When someone isn’t in a good place, listening is easily the most important thing we can do.

As for being anti-social, that isn’t by any stretch a bad thing.  For a day.  Maybe two.  Any longer and I’d get concerned, but sometimes people just need a break from other people.  Let’s not spin that back to them as a negative unless it really is that.

Socially Anti-Social

I’m having an anti-social day. The problem is that I’ve already broadcasted that in my various IM clients (and now here), so people know that I’m anti-social. The idea there was to avoid folks thinking I didn’t like them or something. I do, I’m just not up for a lot of “playing with others” today.

Does me broadcasting that make the anti-social day social again?

800 in line, 790 disappointed*

The PlayStation 3 will be released upon us poor Americans in about 30 minutes. A couple of folks got in line in San Francisco to get their system. $500 or $600 (no game included) later for the first few and the rest will go home without the prize.

Is it worth it? The system I’m getting is $250, with a game, and they made enough of the things that I don’t have to wait in line for more than an hour (and that hour will be mostly meet and greet/nerd observation time and buying an extra controller). Is that worth it?

Erwin T. Randall

True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don’t believe that this condition is permanent.

Thanks

My grandmother’s memorial service was today.  I wanted to send out a thank you to everyone who emailed and texted and prayed for my and my family today and over the past week.

The service was very nice and people had many great things to say about my grandmother.  I’ll have more stories to tell later, but for now, thanks.

Tomorrow morning is the graveside service.  It’s family only and I’m looking forward (sort of) to the smaller gathering to celebrate her life.

Laundry Sympathy

Sabrina has posted something that every person who thinks that playing in the mud is a good idea should read.
Remember the people who clean your clothes (which may very well be yourself)!

Adult Children

During the sermon this morning, our pastor asked what we thought it was like or meant to be a child of God. The congregation wrote down answers and was invited to share if they wanted to.

There were some really good responses. Actually, all of them were good. Being a child of God is like…

…having peace.
…being loved.
…being accepted.
…being forgiven.
…being able to serve.

There were many, many others. But I noted something while I was at lunch with my friends. All of them were very adult answers. That is, they were answers an adult would give. They are answers that speak of a life that has had its share of pain and sorrow as well as joy. They weren’t the innocent answers of a child (how could they be?). The response at lunch was telling. My friends replied that of course they were adult answers, there weren’t any children there.

I didn’t have opportunity to reply as the conversation turned on its merry way to other delightful topics. But I felt sad at that fact. They were right, the congregation was full of adults and a baby or two and at least one child, but I doubt there were two present. The rest of the kids were in their own Sunday morning activities having fun and learning in a different way instead of being in the church service.

Then again, they weren’t right. The room was full of children. The sermon spoke to that. These children had simply forgotten a little bit about being children. As if Peter Pan really did grow up.

Being a child of God is indeed about peace and compassion and joy and forgiveness and love. But a child generally doesn’t think in such clear terms. At least, I didn’t when I was a child. I simply knew I was safe at home or with my parents. I didn’t need to describe it, it just was. I took it for granted, no doubt, but that was part of the indescribable nature of the whole thing.

So I thought about my own answer to what it is like to be a child of God, but in the way an adult who is thinking as a child would answer.

Being a child of God is like…

…running through the sprinklers on a summer day.
…ice cream in a sugar cone melting onto your hand.
…skinning your knees in a baseball game.
…trying to swing all the way around the swing set.
…playing freeze tunnel tag, no tag backs, safe zone at the oak tree for five seconds.
…a rainstorm while the sun is still shining on the horizon.
…staying up past your bed time for a fireworks show.
…running, for no reason, in any direction.
…water balloon fights.
…making a sand castle and wondering where the tide takes it.
…being friends with everyone else around your age because that’s just how the world works, isn’t it?

At least, that’s what I think. How about you?

The Work Boundary

I’ve long felt that I have friends at work and friends outside of work.  The line between the two rarely, if ever, blurred or ceased altogether.  When I was at work, I could speak with my work friends.  If I saw them while I was with my outside-of-work friends, though, there would be an uncomfortable feeling for me.

Reason being that these work friends represented work to me.  Not in the fact that it took more work than usual to sustain a friendship, but because I worked with them.  My first thoughts around them were about work related issues, not the stuff of friends.  I have my friends outside of work for that.

Something has changed, though.  When I got home yesterday and thought of the stories I was to tell friends of my weekend, the boundary between my friends at work and my friends outside of work wasn’t there.  They were all simply my friends, to one natural extent or another.  What’s more is that I don’t think of work when I think of my friends that I work with.

Seems like a good thing.

Transparency

Josh mentions that he doesn’t blog personal stuff while I and some other friends of his do. Particularly lately, I’ve been more transparent, but haven’t brought up many personal issues.

I’ve found, though, that as my transparency here increases, so does my willingness to open up the personal aspects of my life with friends when they ask. Just in the last day, I told two people about some stuff I’m dealing with, in greater than normal detail, that I wouldn’t have normally shared as much detail with. I’ve been cautious about sharing as sometimes, people just aren’t ready to hear much at once and I still don’t want to share some private thoughts with anyone who asks.

The result has been good, however. It’s good to talk about things 99% of the time anyway. And I’ve felt like I don’t let people in very much, so it’s good to see that this can change, however slightly.

What do you think helps you to remain open to the people who care about you?

Private Hell

I can’t put it any better than this.

I don’t know what “it” is exactly, but Robert Scoble gets it. And asks the good questions.

My “hell” lately is wondering if I’ve inadvertantly crossed the line, again, with a friend and waiting as patiently as possible (e.g. not patiently at all) to find out.

And you?