Christmas Revisited

This Christmas was very different for me than many others. This was the first Christmas in memory that I did not spend any time in my hometown for. I did see family on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but the differences were striking.

Alternatively, this was the first Christmas I have spent entirely in my new home in Redlands. I spent time with friends in the morning, then church, then family, then friends again. The diversity of experiences was a lot of fun.

Mostly, though, I found myself meditating and thinking about what was really going on. As my thoughts often turned to those alone this last weekend, I was continually reminded of the reason this holy day exists. Christmas is exactly that; the Christ Mass where the Christian Church celebrates God drawing near to us in Jesus Christ. The season of the Christ Mass started on Sunday and will last until January 6, Epiphany (unless you are of the Eastern Orthodox persuasion). The season when our culture celebrates Christmas is truly Advent, where we are invited to meditate on those things we need Jesus to draw near to us for.

What I found myself thinking of is the ways Jesus has been hoped for and how He has come to answer those hopes. My hopes of late have been for continued healing of the wounds I have confronted these last two years. In the last week, I have been reminded not of the healing that still remains ahead of me, but of the healing that has already taken place and the good things that have come from it: an increased trust in those around me, friendships slowly restoring themselves to greater glory and richness, and courage to take on new possibilities and explore the many doors that they open.

I wonder what others have thought of these last weeks. How has the season left you? How has the year changed you?

Technorati Tags: Christmas, Jesus, reflection

An Invitation

I’ve been thinking about invitations lately. Mostly from a desire to receive them more often, despite regular invitations from my close friends; invitations to movies, to lunch, to talk, to walk, or to simply share space for a time. A perceived lack of invitation, while a reality in some cases, misunderstanding in others, and merely irrational in the rest, lead me to think a bit more about what being invited is all about.

Getting God out of the Nation?

A recent article suggests that a nationalistic belief in God (or a creator, or just thinking Darwin is the spawn of satan) is linked to higher rates of crime, murder, and other pleasant social activities.

Brain Pain

I hear you!

I’m in the Ethics class as well. It’s definitely bringing up a lot of stuff for me. Case in point, Basic Convictions about God. I won’t go into too much detail here, but it was surprising that what probably would be the “norm” of the church as a whole, that God is Love, was pretty far down my list of first thoughts. It’s given me a lot to think about in my own convictions about things, the veracity or importance of their formation, and how to change things that aren’t helpful or healthy.

Reconciliation

Today’s sermon was about anger and being reconciled to those who are angry with you or you are angry at. This is about anger in the sense of the grudge or resentment. In other words, not a fleeting anger.

My questions after the fact, that I intend to ask of those wiser than I, relate to circumstances. I have found myself in the last year in the position of wanting to reconcile a friendship with more than one person. However, in each instance, there are special circumstances that make doing so more difficult than would be consider usual. In one instance, the other does not feel there is a problem in the first place. In another, just getting the opportunity to talk is difficult. In another, the perception that I am mentally unstable, while not entirely out of the question, blocks most any attempt at a rational discussion.

So it begs the question. How do you reconcile when you are the only part of the pair that has a grievance or when the other steadfastly refuses to recognize your point of view as having any truth in it (never minding getting past being told you are wrong every time you try to bring it up)? How do you reconcile with someone who is never available to do so or, when they are, avoids the topic at every turn. How do you reconcile with some one when there is a strong and damaging label, perceived or actual, between you and the other?

An obvious point would be to let go of the anger, but Jesus’ words push is further to actually go to the person and make things right again. It seems that it isn’t enough to be at peace or have mercy. You have to extend it to those who you have hurt or hurt you. But how do you do that when the people you seek to extend that to take the above stances?

I am so perplexed by this conundrum that I was reduced to tears during the sermon today. That, to my memory, has never happened before. And it is not often the case that I find myself shedding tears of sadness at all.

Men’s Group

Here’s an possible, and unfortunate, name for a men’s small group I thought up today:

Super Husbands In Training

Or, to show the unfortunateness without going too far:

Super
Husbands
In
Traning

The sad thing is, there’s probably a church our there that created or would create a group with this exact name.

On Death

Wow.

Good Friday Meditation

Usually Good Friday comes and goes for me. Easter weekend is one like any other except I’ll see my family on Sunday and eat ham and rolls.

This year, though, I’m finding myself drawn to Jesus’ betrayal. I, too, have been betrayed at certain points in my life, some more tragic than others and some impossible to reconcile while there is at least the means for such to happen with others. But never have I been able to see Jesus as being able to relate to me in that very well.

Until last night. I was at a Maundy Thursday service at church where the suffering of Christ is all that is discussed. The story of the Resurrection is appropriately left for Sunday. The story of Jesus sitting with his best friends, one of whom would hand him over to his death and the rest who would flee rather than be by his side and suddenly I saw myself in the same position, surrounded by those who had hurt me so much.

Now I make no claim to be at all very much like Jesus in that I have yet to be crucified or otherwise physically harmed to a great extent and I have no powers resembling that of God. But the overwhelming feeling of knowing that someone else went through something akin to my own pain in life was wonderfully refreshing. And for a span of moments, I was able to see how Jesus could love them in the midst of their betrayals and forgive those who did not know what they were doing.

There are differences, for instance Judas died whereas my outright betrayers have not. I have to figure out how to live with them in the world, near or far. So there is more to figure out as I continue in life and attend the events where I may meet these people again and again. But seeing how Jesus’ betrayal lead to his death and, more importantly, his resurrection over that death and betrayal is comforting. Not only can I recover from these events in my life (some I already have prior to this), but greater and grander things can come of it than previously possible.

Looking Back

I gave a talk nearly two years ago now that I just read again for the first time in a very long time. I thought it would be worth posting.

Learning to Care

I’m finding that, while there are people who are important to me and that I care about after a fashion, I don’t really know what it means to care about someone else.

Today, my capacity for giving a shit is pretty low, if not non-existant. It’s been that way for a couple of days, for the most part. I’ve just been going through the motions of what it seems one would do if one did care about this or that, but my heart just isn’t in it. The fake it ’till you make it route hasn’t ever worked for me, though.

There could be plenty of reasons for this, that I won’t get into now, but at the root of my mind (since I don’t like not knowing much about caring for someone else) is enrolling in a “basics of the faith” style Sunday School class that my church has been talking about for a while.

As I posted earlier, I don’t get the concept of an unconditional anything. However, I know this is exactly what God gives us.

Seems like a key to caring for others is knowing how God cares for us, so getting back to basics seems like a good thing to do.