Thoughts on Dying

A sermon this morning got me thinking.

Yes, that’s news.  Often on Sundays I’m very worn out from prepping for service, a bad night’s sleep the night before, or am just needing rest.  By the time the sermon starts and I’m forced to sit for 15-20 minutes and my body thinks I’ve actually gone to bed and shuts down.  Combine that with the fact that most pastors have a naturally soothing voice, and it’s a recipe for Robert not learning much during Church.

Today I could stay awake, though.  Maybe it was from running the sound board.  Maybe I got a good night’s rest.  Most likely, I wanted to hear what the new pastor has to say about things.  Not surprisingly, it was worth listening to.

The big take home part for me was when EG asked what was worth dying for.  I don’t hear that very often any more.  For such a long time I’ve sought things worth living for, but dying for?  That’s a new one at this stage.  Maybe it was the place I was in today (feeling very unattached, among other things), but I started thinking that I would give my life to end loneliness.  And mostly mine, though there was a glimmer of the “oh yeah, and all of these other people on the planet, too, I guess” in there.

It’s necessary to say that I’m not very lonely.  I have dozens of people I’d call my closest friends who know my life rather intimately.  I am well loved by friends and family both, respected by my co-workers, and don’t have a lack of social interaction.  However, at the end of the day, I still face the simple fact that I am alone in a cloud of caring and loving people.  Some days, it’s incredibly painful.  Most days, that’s just fine and I am content.

And so the sermon challenged me to realize that I would give my life for that reality to be over and another begun where such lonliness was not possible.  Where I could retain individuality and my sense of self, but never feel disconnected or unattached.  I don’t plan on dying any time soon, but that’s something I thought I’d die for when I was asked earlier today. I may stumble on other things as this particular idea makes itself at home in my mind.

And for anyone thinking “what kind of church is this that asks such a question?” the sermon wasn’t nearly as macabre and dark as this post may suggest.  The entire service was warm and light-hearted, but still piercing in that strangely pleasant way that friends have to both love and call you out at the same time.  EG’s sermon was right in line with that.

On Vacation

I’m finally taking a real vacation.  The fact that so many coworkers were glad I was getting a vacation at last was really telling: I need to get away more often!

Luckily, I’m going off to Geek Central/Comic Con with my good friends Household and Eclectic.  The schedule is set (sort of), the accommodations are arranged, the die is cast, the lots are tossed, the craps are shot…wait a minute.  Take a breath.  In.  Out.  In ‘N Out.  Mmm…double-double.

Yeah, I’m excited about a vacation, but also one to Comic Con.  That will be a great time away from the “normal” of life, and not just because so many people there aren’t the classic “normal” we all love to think we aren’t.

But that’s just this week.  How to keep from getting into the same position again of never having a vacation?  That’s a challenge for me.  Family vacations were always annual, so the weekend getaway is a mostly foreign concept. But I’ve seen that rejuvinate many co-workers and have decided to explore this phenomena.  The only trouble, if it can be called that, is finding a weekend and a place to go.  It may not be every month, maybe every other.  But it’s worth a small cost and bit of effort (but hopefully not inconvenience) to make it happen.

Aside from that, I’ve been enjoying several memories from this summer already.  There was the prom.  And the Special Edition Worship Team. A nearly successful evening flight over SoCal. A church picnic. And that’s just four things I took pictures of and all of them dear to my heart in many different ways (I have two of the songs from the kids on my phone that really help me put things in perspectice on the rough days).

Now to go and make more of these and not have it just be a summer thing, at that.

If Only We Thought of this Sooner!

Jeez.

Ashes

Lent starts today.  Traditionally, we are supposed to give something up during Lent typically with an eye on continuing to give it up after Easter, but also to rejoice in taking it up again after Lent, depending.

I don’t know what I’m giving up yet, if anything (I haven’t giving anything up in recent years).

What will you leave behind for 40 days (not counting Sundays)?

Beyond Tolerance

While we’re on the topic, check this out.

Anti-Racial Questions

I read at Daily Kos about comments regarding Senator Obama’s church and “their” theology. The article itself is an interesting read, but it raised a long-standing question for me.

Is Christianity anti-racial? “Anti-racial” changes its feel sometimes depending on who says it (race not withstanding). But it sounds a lot like saying that I’m not Caucasian and this person isn’t African-American and this person isn’t of Asian origin in the eyes of the church. Granted, there is a greater commonality in being children of God, but “anti-racial” suggests to me that diversity can’t exist within unity.

The problem with that is that I’m still Caucasian even as I’m a child of God. It’s part of who I am. If something is anti-racial, does that exclude those parts of me that resulted from me being Caucasian?

Regardless, it seems like we still don’t have a way of talking about race and racial tension/issues even in 2007. Last week’s episode of Friday Night Lights hit the nail on the head with this one, if you ever get a chance to watch it (it may still be on my DVR if folks want to gather).

Sing for your Supper iMix

This last weekend was the once-a-year-or-so Sing for your Supper event at my church.  I have recordings of all of the performances, but got enough positive comments about the music played between acts, before dinner, during dinner, and afterwards that I’ve posted what songs I could as an iMix in iTunes.

This is the first time we’ve done this for Sing for your Supper, to my knowledge.  It should allow people who want to find a song they liked and buy it or purchase the whole set at once, if they want.

You should be able to find the iMix here.

Believe in Mystery

I’ve started listening to NPR podcasts now that I’m walking to work more often. One of them is a weekly deal from the “This I Believe” series (which I love to hear on those rare occasions I listen to NPR in my car).

One from December really struck a chord. Particularly with the season, but also with the timelessness of the message and near-scalding burn it left on my spirit when I realized just how much this man was speaking from my own experience as much as his own.

Click on the “Listen” link when you go here. It’s much better heard than read.

Subscribe to the podcast yourself here.

Visualization of Relief

Take a minute and give a buck. This is the Darfur Wall.  A sort of memorial/donation board.

What I really like about this is that it shows you the difference that you are making in a slight more tangible way.  The number you clicked on lights up very nicely.  While still somber, it’s easier to feel like a small contribution really did go the long way people talk about them going.

MySpace for Churches

This looks interesting.