A Year Later

Just around one year ago today, I woke up having not taken a dose of Accutane for about a month. It was like waking out of a drug induced haze, probably because I was living in a drug induced haze until then. I also blogged about my days of taking Accutane, mostly counting down to when I could drink alcohol again. But the result of that is a large number of people finding this blog while searching for Accutane-related information.

2004 was not a fun year for me. There was a great deal of pain and consternation that was not at all necessary. Most of it started, ironically, one month after starting to take Accutane. I didn’t think anything of it at first. After all, a good deal of what was going on in my life and around me were things that would upset most people. The depression that I fell deeper into during that time had an edge that I had never experienced before.

So, when I woke up one morning about a year ago today having flushed the Accutane from my system, I wasn’t all that surprised that it was suddenly much easier to feel happy. The problems in my life were still present, though I had gotten used to some enough that it didn’t matter as much. But everything was suddenly easier to deal with in my mind and heart. Altering my perspective for the positive was suddenly and quite remarkably simple. I’ve been told that antidepressants work by taking the edge off just enough to help you work through it all. Accutane, I’m quite sure, does the opposite.

My advice to the folks who still find this place looking for Accutane related stuff: get a second and third opinion and explore other options as well. If you do start taking Accutane, start seeing a therapist or counselor on a regular basis (which is probably a good idea even if you aren’t considering Accutane). In my experience, Accutane was a successful treatment, but with too high a cost in emotional health.

Technorati Tags: accutane, mentalhealth, acne, drugs, dermatology

To Make Man Whole?

I’ve been off Accutane for just under a full year now. I’m pleased with the results, but am not sure it was worth the psychological roller coaster that ensued. Regardless, I saw my dermatologist for a check up this last week. While he is pleased that I’ve responded well to the treatment, he isn’t satisfied and by no means done.

The End of Accutane…

On the morining of December 24, 2004, I took the last dose of Accutane in my course of treatment. I see the doctor again on January 24, but I don’t expect him to put me back on the stuff as, so far, my skin has remained clear and has even cleared further, by my eyes.

There are two positive upswings in this for me. First, I can have a drink with my friends again. And the party to do so has already been planned, invitations sent, and people are joining me.

The better has been a more personal one. My mood has dramatically altered since stopping this treatment. I was told when I started to watch out for signs of depression, that suicides may be linked to Accutane, and so forth. I didn’t think much of it as I had taken it once before during my high school years and don’t remember a similar experience. During the last 8 months, I never thought to attribute a bad or worsening mood to the Accutane. A lot happened in my life and the lives of others and there have been more than a fair share of rough times amidst them.

Yet my basic ability to be happy, to seek for the good around me, to feel positive has become so much easier in the last couple of weeks. Sure, I’ve had some bad days recently. But even those have had their positive sides.

All that to say that for whatever reason, be it not taking Accutane anymore, the end of the holiday season (definitely a possibility as well), or a significant time of growth in a short period of time (probably a good mix of all three and many other things currently unknown to me), I feel a lot better.

Yet Another Month

Well, I saw the dermatologist this morning. I have one more month of Accutane ahead of me. If I don’t break out before my next appointment in December, I’m done on 12/21. Given that I’ve been on the stuff for seven months and haven’t broken out once, I think my chances are pretty good.

The other good news, if I don’t break out by the next appointment, I don’t have to take a blood test beforehand. That’ll be $15-$34 less next month I’ll have to pay in co-pays (it turns out my insurance covers one of the tests they do only every other month, so my co-pay fluctuates rather wildly).

So, not the news I was again hoping for, but there’s a strong silver lining.

And I passed Halo 2 last night on Normal. Great story. Now to hone some online skills and get geared up for Heroic and Legendary difficulty modes.

Dry London

I just got the call from my doctor.

Absolutely no alcohol while on Accutane.

Not What I Wanted to Hear

The doctor wants me on Accutane for another month, at least. I had thought you couldn’t do that for health reasons, but apparently I was misinformed (I’ll be reading the official documentation when I get home to be sure).

His opinion is that the acne is still “rumbling under the surface” and if I were to stop now, it would be as though I had never taken it.

To top it off, my triglycerides are on a steady rise, so I need to get down to it and either add more fruits and vegetables (something my friends will find obvious) or cut cholesterol. Both would be best, but the fruits and vegetables are easier since I’m already on as low a cholesterol diet as I can get without being completely anti-social.

Luckily, my ALT and AST levels (liver indicators) are all perfectly fine and have been for just about the entire course of treatment (they were higher once after a training hike, as increased physical activity or physical injury can increase those levels). So, when I go to England, I can probably enjoy a cider once a day and be alright. Besides, my system will have two weeks to clear it all out before my next blood test, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

Still, not the ideal. My dosage was to run out next Tuesday evening. Now I’ll be going straight up to Thanksgiving at the very least.

Hopefully that will be the last.

One Month

Today I found out that I have only one month left in my Accutane treatment. One month. Just before I leave for London. Perfect timing, huh?

My visit this morning was strange, at best. The nurse or medical assistant who called me out of the waiting room decided to chat it up for a minute about some guy who thinks he’s the Messiah and gives his followers a crown instead of a cross. I find fault with that, but she was concerned because a lot of US Senators and Representatives threw him a banquet. I don’t doubt the validity of her story, I’m sure I heard of the same event myself. Just the alarm. Self-proclaimed Messiahs seem to burn out pretty quick one way or another.

A half hour later, having pondered a strange machine that seemed to have something to do with high voltage electricity and read an entirely unfascinating Newsweek article about the next Batman movie (which actually looks good, just the article wasn’t), the doctor came in. He’s fast and always in a hurry. Given that he’s usually thirty minutes late, I can see why. But he said I’m doing very well and that only one more month of treatment was even allowed, but that it was mostly to kick the acne entirely for me.

The part I’m looking forward to most in a month: being more easily hydrated on a regular basis! My lips are chapped 24 hours a day. There is a dry spot on the back of my head that I just discovered was a dry spot today (I thought it was just a persistent sun-burn or something). Pretty much my entire body is suffering from a distinct lack of fluid. I drink tons of water a day, and I’m sure it helps. But I look forward to not having to carry multiple packages of lip balm in my pocket in case one should run out mid-day.

Plus, I’ll be able to have a cider in Britain. I mean, how can you go there and not get alcohol?

Lotion

I just put some lotion on my arms. I’ve never done that before, but they felt dry, so I did.

I think the pain I experienced on contact rivals the blood-drawing from this morning.

I’m going to put lotion on my arms more often in hopes of that never happening again.

Increased Dosage

I’m up to 40mg in the morning and 80mg at night. To match my body weight a bit since I’ve put on some pounds in the last few months.

Though I’m putting some time between the two pills at night, for now.

Clearing

I looked in the mirror today after my shower and shave and thought, “Damn, this stuff is actually working!” I haven’t had skin this clear since before high school.

Now to begin my plans to overtake the world…