Safe and Sound

I’ve arrived in Miami safely for my business trip.  The flights were smooth and the connection was made easily.  My first experience getting a connecting flight also didn’t end with losing my luggage, so that was nice.

Thanks to everyone who texted me, emailed, left comments, sent a facebook message, or contacted me in other ways.  It was really a treat to land, turn on my phone, and find several emails and messages come in right then wishing me well.

Miami is probably a beautiful city, but I haven’t seen it in the light yet, so I’ll let you know.  But Dallas/Fort Worth is freaking brown, flat, and dry looking.  And thank God for the Skyline there or else we would never have made the connecting flight going from Terminal A to Terminal D in thirty minutes.

UPDATE: It’s morning here now (4:30 back home) and the sun is rising over the ocean.  Freaking me out a bit, actually.  But the city looks gorgeous.  Turns out that my hotel room looks out right over the water towards Miami Beach (which is across an inlet from me to the left, to the right is open ocean).  And to anyone back West who is wondering, the Atlantic looks very much like the Pacific, just spanning the wrong horizon.  I’m definitely a West Coast guy today and Tolkien had it right when he put Mordor in the East.

The New Year and Why Did 2007 Suck So Much?

It’s 2008. I think. The calendar on my computer says so, but the Mayan culture will probably beg to differ.

What I noticed this new year was the number of people who were so thankful that the calendar turned over again because last year sucked. The number of “Happy New Year’s” that were followed with a “Let’s not do 2007 again, huh?” or something along those lines were astounding. For a few of my friends, it really, legitimately sucked. Death and major injury seemed to be a tragic theme in the lives of people I know. They are, naturally, exempt from this diatribe since they can say 2007 sucked with integrity that no one would ever question.

I also am not saying that whoever says 2007 sucked doesn’t have integrity, my diatribe is of another sort. It’s worth noting that the people I know who had the worst years are also the ones who have never said openly, at least to me or in my presence, that 2007 was a horrible year. Oh, an I’ll probably use the word “suck” quite a lot. I’ve had a beer tonight. Extensive vocabulary is no longer required. The topic came to me this morning during the Rose Parade though, for reasons that defy the normal rules of logic and sanity, so the beer wasn’t inspiration, either, and that seems important to note.

2007 was probably hard for a lot of people that didn’t experience death and major injury. I had my own moments and everyone has many days that just don’t go well, jobs that are far from fun every day of the year, perfect relationships with all other humans on the planet, etc. What bothers me about the number of people who are thankful for a new start are the number of them that assume that everyone else’s 2007 sucked, too.

I think it’s normal to take our own emotional, spiritual, and intellectual experiences and assume that everyone else feels the same way or would if they were in our shoes. We only have one frame of reference for those experiences: our own. It still seems strange that, despite the large number of people that have had good years and have shared their joy with their friends, the new year is still a time of thankfulness that that’s all over and done with and we can start fresh again at last. Christmas is over, the shopping is done, time to get ready for the debt we may have incurred, plan the New Year’s party, execute the New Year’s party, and finally rest and thank God that’s over with.

When did the default experience of the holiday season that is December become a thing to get past and finished with? I think we all had a good time celebrating as much as we could, but the biggest topic of conversation was how much people couldn’t wait to get to January (I admit, I said that myself more than once). Hello? The credit card bills will come in January. Surely at the very least, we don’t want to rush to that point, right? At best, isn’t the season supposed to be about something great and wonderful? That being God ditching His seat at the high point of the cosmos to go through the wonderful process that is birth and all that follows, like puberty and death, depending on your religious persuasion. Seriously, who volunteers for that if they don’t have to? That’s huge! How we can give a rat’s ass about whether “the party” went well or the effect of capitalism on the holiday when there’s that to ponder and contend with? I don’t do that very well myself, but still. Seems like we can be a bit more positive about the whole season at least, right? Why such a rush to get past a time to celebrate such a momentous, odd, and generally insane thing for an All-Powerful being to do?

2008 is a fresh start and I welcome it. Not because 2007 was all that bad (mine was pretty damn good, I’ll have another one of those, thank you). It’s a chance to continue and repeat the good things and grow from the tragic ones. Looking back on the year before should be about deciding what to take forward, not just what to leave behind. I suppose that’s a task for every day. It’s nice to have a new start to make it a bit easier, though.

Finally Christmas

It’s finally Christmas.  Not to say that I’ve been waiting impatiently for the day, but it finally feels like a holiday now.  Feast of Lights started it for me, but the Christmas Eve service tonight really sent the idea home.  Nothing super-unusual about the service this year, it was much the same as past years in many ways.  But it finally felt like a Holy Day rather than just some days off, and that’s a lot for me.

The season has been otherwise dry in terms of the “holiday spirit” this year. I’ve had a lot of good times with friends, but I’m happy to say that this isn’t unusual in my life.  It isn’t like I have bad times with my friends the other 11 months of the year.  And so there isn’t much to differentiate Christmas from the rest.  Maybe that’s a good thing.  The monks at Valyermo know something of routine and if they’ve been doing it for hundreds of years (in their order, not necessarily at Valyermo), that says something.  But it also seems like there should be something this time of year that is different.

I’m not quite sure what that something is, but it showed up tonight and I’m glad it did.

12 Days

After the Feast

Life is change, or so they say. I don’t usually notice the change, though. Things seem exactly what they are supposed to be, for good or ill. If it’s different from before, does that matter as much? Maybe we only notice the change when it does matter. The more we notice, the more important the change is, however small.

The Feast of Lights ended last night. I don’t know if it will be my last. The last time I thought I’d never be in the Feast of Lights again, I was wrong. It seems fitting that this second Final Feast is even less certain to be Final at all. Things were different this time. I enjoyed myself and I noticed things were different, but it seemed that things were right, too. There was more sorry and heartbreak this year. But that made the joy deeper and richer when I sought for it. I think I could have done more of that, though.

The first time the Feast ended for me in 1999, I cried afterwards. I felt the emptiness immediately. I was four months from graduating from college and seeing my life change forever. That last night of Feast was a herald of terrible and fantastic things to come. I remember telling a friend, we’ll call her Kat (that’s what I called her then, too), about that and finding comfort in her friendship and understanding.

This time around, there isn’t emptiness. There is loneliness, but that has nothing at all to do with the Feast except in maybe not seeing certain friends again for a while.  There is peace and that has everything to do with the Feast, but nothing at all at the same time.  The peace comes from some where else and the Feast is it’s gateway into me.  But the peace is mingled now with the loneliness and both are richer and deeper and full of a texture I can not easily describe.

My year has been blessed and life is good.  But things are not as I would have them and for that, I feel lonely, of all things to feel.  But there is little to be done today, and so I feel at peace knowing that things are as they are.  They will change when they will and I will write my role in that. For now, there is joy to be found in the experience of an uneasy peace.

Diet and Exercise

I’m starting to grow a belly. Nothing too big, but the fact that it is there at all is disconcerting. There is an older man in choir who has a rather large belly and I feel like I see a bit of my future when I look at him. Mine is easily hidden for now, but that isn’t likely to stay easy forever.

I’ve decided to not order fries any more when eating out and to make only one trip to the soda fountain (if at all). Also, adding some cruches to my regimen that already includes frequent walks during the work day, at least two vigorous walks a week, and at least one round of disc golf to my exercise regimen.

The only question is if that will have any effect on my abdomen (I’m sure the crunches will) as well as my health in general. Thoughts?

Feast Week 07

Feast week started tonight.  Every night this week except for Thursday, I’ll being at the U of R singing in a rehearsal or presentation for the Feast of Lights.

Tonight went really well aside from one thing.  At first, I thought I was just being an ass.  After some reflection and putting things into perspective (I felt way too badly about maybe being an ass after rehearsal), I’ve realized that I wasn’t really at rehearsal tonight.  I walked when I was supposed to and sang when I was supposed to, but didn’t dive into the thing at all.  What a waste.

I have three more rehearsals to calm down just a bit and get my head into this thing.  On the one hand, I have music that clearly needs to be memorized.  On the other hand, I’m participating in something that is rich with meaning and significance.  I don’t want to get to the end and find out I missed out because I hadn’t let myself get swept away by it all. I may not find much depth, but I’d rather it not be because I didn’t leave myself open to the possibility.

I’d like to get this part of my life back, please

I just finished watching The Pursuit of Happyness. If you don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading. If you don’t care, click on.

“Little” Gifts

Exculpatory has a great post that I can’t link to since I am typing this on my phone which, strangely, doesn’t do the copy paste thing (way to earn that bonus, Microsoft Windows Mobile Smartphone Edition Team). Look it up, though. If my computer ever turns on again, I’ll make the link (new power supply arrives Monday!).

He got me thinking about the little gifts I can get my friends. Movie tickets, popcorn, retal gift certificates, beer, wine, other forms of alcohol, etc. Suddenly, Xmas doesn’t seem so expensive and as likely to power out Christmas, at least for me. It could be that BevMo and movie passes are my saving grace for the commercial side of the holiday.

Thanksgiving Rundown

This was easily the lowest-key Thanksgiving ever.  Even more so than trips to the monastery have been (though that’s typically the most contemplative, too).  A trip back to TC for lunch with my folks and grandpa, a trip home, and a round of 18 holes on the disc golf course (2 under par, but no witnesses and more than a fair share of mulligans).  I thought there might have been some dessert action tonight, but that never materialized.

Tomorrow is a sleep in day (read no alarm set, but I’ll still wake up at 6:30 and wonder why there isn’t a buzzing noise) followed by general laziness, a trip to get my own “whatever” for the party tomorrow night at the House of N and S.  Maybe I’ll get another round of golf in to work off the massive amounts of food I’ve been ingesting, too.  If anyone’s interested, call or text or just show up using your powers of telepathy to determine when others are there.

And for the requisite “what I’m thankful for” bit: the worst thing to happen to me all year is that the power supply on my computer is dying.  And the replacement should be here Monday, so even that isn’t so bad.  And the girl I had my eye on in choir has a boyfriend, but that’s hardly a terrible thing.  Seriously, that’s the worst of my year.  I went to Comic Con for the first time with two of the greatest people I know and got hooked on Green Lantern.  I got a new apartment where I can sleep through the night without hearing music about how everyone who isn’t white should be killed in horribly brutal ways.

I’ve had a very blessed year and am very lucky to be able to say that.  I’d give it up in a heartbeat to see some of my friends not have the hard times they have had.  But since I can’t, I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can knowing I’d want them to do the same were our positions reversed.  And if I can somehow leak some of my good year over to theirs, all the better.