I sang with Ensemble XXI last Sunday for an Evensong presentation. As always, it was quite a lot of fun and good to see friends there to listen and enjoy the peace of the moment.

My attitude, however, was not in keeping with the evening. For various reasons, I was frustrated and annoyed. Enough so that, during the Magnificat, I started singing a line from memory of a slightly different version of the piece. Luckily, I either wasn’t loud enough by far or the line I sang blended well with the rest of the choir as my musically inclined friends did not notice it at all. I doubt it went unnoticed by the choir members around me, though.

The irony is that the words in that section were about God exalting the humble and meek and putting down the proud. Seemed to fit my situation at that moment! ]]> http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/a-lesson-in-humility/feed/ 0 Odyon http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/testing/ http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/testing/#comments Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:14:33 +0000 Robert http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/testing/ ]]>

This is a test of the Posterous system. This is only a test. If this has been an actual Posterous post, you would be reading about someone’s breakfast.

Incidentally, mine will be doughnuts.

Carry on. ]]> http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/testing/feed/ 0 Odyon http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/one-of-those/ http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/one-of-those/#comments Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:38:19 +0000 Robert http://lifeofrobert.wordpress.com/?p=1209 ]]>

I had one of those days.  I’m not really sure what started it, but at some point I found myself pretty upset about something.  Your guess is as good as mine what I was upset about, exactly.  We’ll do a choose your own adventure now from the following possibilities:

• Rubio’s didn’t get my lunch order right, but it was still good.
• I had a lot of people ask me perfectly valid questions in a very, very short time frame.
• Just after lunch, it was clear that I didn’t have enough time to do all of the tasks on my list for the day.

Unlike other choose your own adventures, all of these lead directly to the very next paragraph.  Fooled you!

I took a walk at one point, texted friends who have a tendency to both make me smile and remind me what’s important.  I remembered during my walk that anger/rage is extremely self-centered.  My day wasn’t going well, never mind not knowing why, and therefore everyone should suffer.  Huh?  The things happening to me weren’t about me.  The lunch order wasn’t a personal attack.  People didn’t have questions intentionally lined up all to be asked during that one time frame.  And the unusual number of tasks was my own damn fault.

I felt better after that.  Still not a great day, but it’s hard to be angry at something like that when it isn’t about you.

As I was pulling out of my spot at work, I thought I was backing into a perfectly empty parking spot.  I wasn’t because it wasn’t a parking spot, it was a small driveway that had a tree near it which took a nice bite out of my rear spoiler, but nothing else was damaged that I’ve found yet.  That was sort of the kicker with nothing damaged but my pride.

But that was the big event.  For the rest of the evening, me and my bruised ego have been trying to somehow cover this up like a child covering a messy room by simply moving stuff into corners that parents can’t see from the doorway.  The mess is there, but they’ve probably done more work hiding it than cleaning it up.  I’ve been over-compensating for a perceived loss of status or usefulness or even attractiveness and all because of a meaningless bit of damage to my car.  That definitely gets a WTF.

Also, I’m looking forward to getting a new car, but not to buying one.  Even though my car is fine after today, it’s a reminder that the day is coming that, by all accounts, is not pleasant.  Even used, I don’t look forward to adding a monthly payment where one hasn’t been for so many years.  It’ll have to happen sooner or later, but still.

So, I had a day.  This isn’t so you feel sorry for me (there are a lot of people worse off than me).  If damage to my car and whatever made me upset earlier is that hard, well, I’m not sure I’d even want to know me.

This concludes your West Wing Taught Me Everything I Need to Know About Handling Problems for today.

As is my custom, I post to my blog on my birthday to mark to occasion and to reflect on the year that’s past, look at the day that is, and meditate on the year to come. Today, I have completed thirty-one orbits of our sun and I start my thirty-second.

My writing on this blog is infrequent, at best, and so my inspiration for writing is harder to come by. So I look to the post of previous birthday to see what was a year ago and ask myself, “What has changed.” One section from last year stood out to me as I read it:

I am the man I want to be. I’m glad I can say that at 30. I’m not done, not by a long shot, and there are still many things I want to be yet and many things I want to do. But I can honestly say that I am the person I want to be when I wake up and when I lie down and all of the time in between.

I’m happy to say that this has not changed.

My year has been excellent in nearly every way I can imagine. I continue to be surrounded by the greatest friends a man can ask for. I spend each of my days with the most beautiful people on the planet and count myself blessed to be surrounded by such loving, kind, and amazing people. C.S Lewis wrote of such Friendship better than I could:

In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions; when four or five of us after a hard day’s walking have come to our inn; when our slippers are on, our feet spread out towards the blaze and our drinks at our elbows; when the whole world, and something beyond the world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim or any responsibility for another, but all are freemen and equals as if we had first met an hour ago, while at the same time an Affection mellowed by the years enfolds us. Life—natural life—has no better gift to give. Who could have deserved it?

Life is good. I still have goals and unfulfilled desires, but they have given me the chance to learn patience, after a fashion. In some areas, the potential for fulfillment has taken me quite by surprise in ways I don’t think anyone would expect. And while those things may or may not come to pass, if I have learned any lesson in the last year it is this: the bounds of love and joy and peace don’t exist except in where we place them in our attempts to bring order to the chaos that only we perceive. Life happens in many things, but most of it in the places outside of the boundaries we have decided to raise around our small feifdoms.

I have found great comfort in knowing the order of my world. But I have also learned more of the joy to be found beyond my borders in the friendship, compassion, and love those who are younger, those who are older, and those who are different. I have heard stories of Indonesia, poems of Gold, and lectures from makers of ice cream.  I have drunk deep of coffees and golden ales, seen an Venetian Goddess dance, sung songs of the eve, and heard the Secrets of Others.  If the last year has been about anything, it has been about learning that the world beyond the borders I find that I have set is not out to discredit me or to hurt me, and does not need to earn my trust.  Quite the contrary, this world beyond has things of beauty and grace and lovliness that surpass my wildest imaginings and it trusts me.  In this place I spend the next year and many more to come.

What will come to pass, none can say.  But I know it will be Good.

Christmas Day has come and gone, though there are 10-11 days of Christmas left (depending on if you count the day I’m typing this).  On the morning of, I woke up in the 6:00 hour.  Though I had already opened gifts from friends the night before (obediently waiting until midnight so I opened them on Christmas as requested by many), I still held that excitement about the morning and opening gifts and seeing what people had given me and what they thought of the gifts I had gotten for them.  I promptly sent out many text messages wishing people a Merry Christmas.  I undoubtedly missed people as I could only send the text to about 10 at a time, so may have skipped over people in my haste.

EOD replied stating that it was awfully early to which I replied that there is no early on Christmas Morning.  She loved that stating “you’re still 5!”

And she’s right.  Even when I’m an ancient age, I’ll still be 5 on Christmas Morning.

Wow.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/article?a=268685&f=19

I’m not sure how I feel about this one. On one side, a lot of people are about to lose their jobs. On the other, this I what happens when a company is (reportedly) mis-managed.

What is life in America like without GM or Ford?

I was lucky enough to attend a Christmas play last night that AH was participating in. The play wasn’t so much a play as each class performing little songs they had been working on, which isn’t at all surprising. The adorable factor was incredibly high.

It got me wondering why we do these programs, though. From the looks on many of the faces there, no one really had a desire to be there other than to see one or two particular kids stand on the stage. The kids clearly had a great time, but they’re kids and that’s what they do. It wasn’t an outreach program for the church/school since nearly all attendees were congregants (or related). So what’s the point?

I had a great time and think it’s a great thing to do. I just don’t see why the collective we do this beyond the standard “we do this every year” thing.

Yesterday, I had to say no to someone who needed help because my week is already overcommitted. I’m doing good things (tonight, a Christmas play starring a 2.5 year old friend). But there is just too much to add on last minute things. Unfortunately, this seems to be the season for last minute things. Last minute shopping, last minute dinners, last minute decorating.

What is different about the rest of the year? Some people are always last minute, but something happens during December when even the most forward planning people don’t plan at all. What’s up with that?

Just a heads up to everyone that I’m moving pretty slow this week. There are tons of holiday things happening from parties to rehersals to concerts. I get email and texts quicklÝ, but it may take me even longer than usual to respond.

Thanks for your patience.

Just finished watching Say Anything for the first time. Loved it. Wasn’t in the mood for a romantic comedy/drama/teenage-dramafest, but as soon as Lloyd blurts out in the opening scene that he wants to be hurt, I was hooked. I’m that guy.