Another year comes and goes. And so another birthday post is written.

Today, I am 30 years old. Three tens of orbits completed. This is supposed to be momentous, right? It feels momentous. But also not. I am much the same today as I was yesterday and I imagine the same will be true tomorrow. But something significant happened, I’m just not sure what it is or how to describe it. Yet.

The last year has been very good. The previous year came out neutral, but this one is overwhelmingly positive. I’ve seen friends find joy more often than pain and have found that myself along with them. My circle of friends has grown and I am constantly amazed by the large number of wonderful and beautiful people I get to see and spend time with on a regular basis. I have walked in grace and joy.

I attended a memorial service for a great man this afternoon. On my way home, I wondered about what kind of man I want to be. And then it hit me. I am the man I want to be. I’m glad I can say that at 30. I’m not done, not by a long shot, and there are still many things I want to be yet and many things I want to do. But I can honestly say that I am the person I want to be when I wake up and when I lie down and all of the time in between.

What the next year will bring is anyone’s guess. It may not be overwhelmingly positive and there may be trials yet ahead.  It may outshine the year I just ended. It may be both. My pastor had encouraging words for me, though: I’m just starting out on the road and there are many adventures yet to happen.

I wholeheartedly agree.

I have a neighbor that I see about once a week or so. He’s an older gentleman (but not quite retirement age) and lives here with his wife. I get the feeling that they hit on hard times and this complex is a stepping stone for them as they get back on their feet. With the economy the way it is, it comes as no surprise.

Every time I see this gentleman, I say good morning (or afternoon or evening) and ask how his day is going. Almost always, regardless of the time of day, he answers that he is tired. I can definitely get behind that as I am tired myself at one point or another and if he is fallen on hard times, that would drain the life out of me as well.

But he’s always tired. Every time I ask how he’s doing. At the very least, I don’t think he’s ever told me things were alright or even just ok, let alone good or wonderful.

I find this in other areas of my life as well. The cynicism and sadness that seems to prevail over some people can become so thick it’s like they have clothed themselves with it as they would don a heavy, fur coat for an unseasonably cold winter in Northern Siberia. Some try to joke about it as though it makes such a heavy coat fit in the mildly pleasant weather that life can be. Others seem to be just tired of the burden of it all the time. Both don’t seem to realize how endearingly foolish they look wearing such clothing in what could otherwise be a paradisaical experience (though, admittedly, not always and for some not often at all).

I may be coming down on my tired friend too hard. Life can be rough and while I’ve experienced my hard times, I know they don’t compare to those that others have gone through. I may just be young and not felt the sting of life that comes before the sting of death. But I do believe that death has no sting as Brahms so eloquently set to music. I have to wonder, then, if life really needs us provide it with it’s own sting or if the idea that life is so hard is something we bring to the table ourselves. How many hardships are all the harder because we call them hardships? How many hardships would appear ridiculous if we called them easyships? Now I’m just being corny, but I couldn’t really see another way to move on from that one.

If you knew me in college, you know that when asked how I was doing, I would often say I was tired. And I was honest about that. Just not completely. Really, life was hard and I didn’t have a way to express just how hard it was for me at times. So I said I was tired because that’s how it felt. Not sleepy, just tired and weary to my soul. I wonder if my gentle friend would say the same? I wonder if there’s any way to be present for him having experienced my own version of that?

I don’t talk about HeartMath much.  It’s kind of hokey sounding and touchy-feely. But it’s probably saved my life or at least my sanity.

For Earth Day, they are encouraging people to feel genuine appreciate for just two minutes that day. Doesn’t matter when that day, just two minutes of our time to pause and feel good about something. Seems worth it.  Even if it doesn’t make a difference for the planet, it will probably at least help you feel a bit better for a while (even if you already feel great) and certainly can’t hurt the planet.

They made a decent video that does a good job of describing one of the HeartMath methods that is easiest to do and can really turn a day around.  The only trick they don’t mention about is that you have to want it. If you don’t genuinely want to feel better, this isn’t going to happen. That hardest days I’ve had I would get to a point where I wanted to feel as bad as I felt.  But that doesn’t work in the long run and learning this method helped me to realize that.

So that’s the back story there.  I’m very caffeinated, so this post is probably a bit scatter-brained. I’m sure you can deal with it. If not, well, I can’t really do anything about that now can I?

This weekend, I sang the Brahms Requiem with the Redlands Symphony Orchestra, Community Chorus of Redlands, and U of R University Choir.  For the last few weeks, this single event has effectively taken over my life either with actual time spent preparing or just a strange mental thing sort of looming on the horizon until it’s suddenly upon us in a strangely haunting and wonderful way that oozes over into everything else you do.  Or something like that.

But now my time is a touch more free.  I still have rehearsals every week for the final concert with Community Chorus this season (end of May).  Still have weekly rehearsals with the Worship Team (tonight was cancelled, though).  Random events both exciting and boring (mostly exciting).  But with the big concert behind me, it honestly feels like my entire schedule is suddenly empty by comparison.

So on to pressing matters.

• Gotta work out Comic Con with the Eclectic Household (or are they Household Nerdery?).
• Almost ready to complete another orbit (of some significance, this time) and have a nice party for it (daalny and anonymous, need to get in touch with you about that one).
• Keep up with the high school posse on Facebook.

I got home from work today to find that the top story on the Redlands Daily Facts was about a sign being approved by the City Council. Aside from the problem with this being the biggest news story of the day (not sure if our city is that boring or if the Facts is that bored), I had some issues with this as a marketer.

First, the sign is seems pretty large by the measurements given in the article.  I’m no expert on that, but the size was part of the debate for the council, so I’m guessing there was something abnormal (for Redlands) about the size.  There was concern from one council member about it distorting or blocking the view of the mountains (normally hidden in smoggy haze anyway, but the principle is still sound).  The sign was approved and it’ll be in place sometime after today, I’m sure.  Many businesses, presumably near the base of the sign, will be advertised to driver’s on the 10 Freeway so that those drivers busy getting somewhere will know there are places to spend money should they pass by during a less personally busy time in their lives.

And that’s my problem.  This is crappy marketing.  Sure, signs are helpful.  But now the press for this sign is that it takes away from an otherwise scenic (maybe) view so that businesses already in a poor location can be known.  They’ve sort of thumbed their nose at the community that, wait for it, are probably their most likely customers.  And this is supposed to increase business?  Why not have the story that they opted to not put up the big sign in order to preserve the community?  Much better press.  Just doesn’t last as long as the sign, and that’s the real problem.

Both of these stories would be gone in a day (probably).  A sign stays there in your face for much longer.  It’s much harder to make another story for day two and another for day three and on and on to get the attention you business (hopefully) deserves.  The other side of the coin that these folks seemed to have missed (so far) is that the sign will fade as well into the background radiation of what passes by when we drive on the freeway until it’s just something that blocks the things that used to be there that were usually hidden in haze, but it was nice to see them when the haze was gone.

I read the article 20 minutes ago.  I’ve already forgotten which businesses were listed for the sign.  But I’ll remember the article when I see the sign for the first time and think, “A little effort and they could have done so much better and left a nice view for people to enjoy.”

Waiting for certain systems to reboot before I can continue working today and thought I’d share that I haven’t been able to bring the funny today. Not sure why, I’m usually at least cheerful, but the wit I’m used to is gone. I’m still cheerful and happy, not sad at all. Just nothing funny coming from me (or anywhere else, in my opinion).

Haven’t seen the sun in a few days, so maybe things will be better if the sun comes out tomorrow.

As some have pointed out (and I’m not angry about that), I haven’t been posting often on this blog.  But there’s a reason.  One I noted earlier is that there hasn’t been much of substance to share.  The other is that other venues online are making it easy for me to keep in touch with people and broadcast myself.

First, as some of the few readers here may note, is Facebook. This allows me to share quite a bit.  But it’s also a walled garden that doesn’t let me share much with people who aren’t also on Facebook and, in some cases, also my friends on Facebook.  As some of my real-world friends are teachers who wish to remain a bit more unreachable by their students (very, very understandable), that presents an issue.

The other is a newer service called FriendFeed. This aggregates just about everything I do online.  And it can do that for you, too.  Either way, people don’t have to register to follow my activities.  Not a blog, but a look at everything else, no doubt.

Kate’s targeting folks.  Wonderful.  That explains the bullseye that appeared on my head.  I thought it was for the birds.  May be still.  Thankfully I’m inside right now and that means only Kate can get me here, so nothing to worry about.

Moving on, WordPress finally realized that their GUI was out of date and updated the thing.  About time and not just that.  Well done.  There’s nothing new that I can see, but wow is this pretty.  And it feels easy to use, too.  It may not really be, but if it feels easy to use I won’t care so much.  Adding the time stamps for posts pulled in via RSS is just a nice touch.

As for why I haven’t posted, I haven’t had much to say to the world at large.  Most of the events in my life lately have not been for public consumption and until June, I’m not likely to have time to think up anything else to say.  But there’s this: I’m moving furniture around my apartment tomorrow.  Nothing huge, but I hope that it will open the apartment up a bit more and allow for a more hospitable place.  Or at least a place where more people can come and watch a movie without feeling like the place is full to the brim.  Ironically, my current apartment is about 200 square feet larger than my old one.  But, with the layout it has right now and the different floor plan, the space isn’t being used very efficiently.  It’s nice, but I can do better and so I will.

Next step, figure out what to do with the desk that I no longer use since my TV is now my computer monitor (yay for convergence!).  So now it’s just taken up space in my bedroom and storing things that I don’t really think I need to store (or could store elsewhere.  Oh, and I’ve got a ton of shredding to do.  I wonder if there are mass shredding services I could make use of?

I’m currently in El Segundo for training in SQL queries (mostly filling in the gaps with what I’ve self-taught over the last few years and learning a lot already after one day).  What I’ve remembered is how much I don’t like LA or the area.  It’s a nice enough place visually, but it just feels so stuck up.  Even here about a block or two from LAX, things aren’t that great, but the mood is that this place is better than everywhere else.  Some buildings are nice, some are run down.  Cars are mostly beat up.  The people don’t look happy, at least when I see them (admittedly, it could be me, but I doubt it as I have a very cheery disposition). None of this is bad except that the atmosphere is one of “everything is fine, ignore that over there, look at this really cool thing we’re doing over here and ignore what’s really going on over somewhere else that we won’t even mention lest we reveal what things are really like.”

Compared to Miami, well, there isn’t a comparison.  And I can say that having been in both places within two months of each other.  Things are nice in Miami, but people are just there and don’t actually seem to care how good it looks, just that things are pleasant and fun and relaxed.  LA seems to have this desperate need to be thought of as hip and so fails miserably at actually being hip.

Just my observation today.  I may change my mind by the week’s end.

Anyone up for doing this during Market Night in Redlands?  Not sure how they know when to stop and start again, though.